Do we rednecks drink wine?

Cletus Maricle

 

 

JUST ONE TIRED REDNECK'S OPINION

By Cletus Maricle

Do we rednecks drink wine? The answer is a qualified no. Shine not wine! Efforts to invade the Redneck market by naming wineries Redneck Winery (California and New York) or a wine distributorship Redneck (Florida), have not been successful.

Not even naming a wine glass as a redneck wine glass has had much effect. We should be insulted by those mounting a canning jar on a candlestick and trying to sell it for prices from $6.95 to $19.95. If we want a redneck wine glass we can do it ourselves for less than $2.00. Get a pint canning jar from the cellar and glue it to a candlestick from the Dollar Store. If you are a heavy drinker get a quart jar.

If a redneck goes out to eat at some restaurant other than Cracker Barrel, Waffle House or Huddle House, where alcohol is not served, why should he order a glass of wine half empty when he can get a full bottle of Bud for less money? No sense at all.

They say filling it half full lets the wine breathe. Why swallow something that breathes? We have enough trouble breathing polluted air as it is. They also say you can swish the wine around in your glass and see its legs. Drinking something breathing with legs will give you indigestion. Furthermore, my mother taught me it was bad manners to swish you drink around and around. Buttermilk has legs and you don’t swish it around and around.

Corncob wine is an exception and is popular in Kentucky and Tennessee. After all the corn is cut off, you still have a use for the cob. Tightwads should like this. And let me assure you from an experience of forty years ago, it has far more than 12% alcohol whether measured by volume or any other measure. We do not need Cabernet Sauvignon with either squirrel and dumplings or catfish.

JUST ONE TIRED REDNECK'S OPINION..

 

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