Christmas dinner on Redneck Ridge




By Cletus Maricle

Cuz Red Fred had a horrible experience for Christmas dinner. His wife baked the turkey that he had raised out on Redneck Ridge.

She decided to vary the turducken recipe and stuffed two Cornish hens in the cavity of the big bird. When the turkey was put on the table, the twins, Edwin and Ellen, saw the Cornish hens inside the turkey.  They started yelling that the turkey was pregnant and refused to eat it and wouldn’t let anyone else eat it.

Nothing would do them but to give the turkey and its young a respectable burial in the back yard. Red Fred ministered at the grave sites reminding everyone that Pope Francis had said, “Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures.”

Now it is New Years and the kids heard Red Fred say that it was time to eat some hog jowl. Edwin and Ellen figured that the potbellied pig Red Fred had bought for their mother for Christmas was soon to be sacrificed and started digging another grave.

Red Fred assured them that was not going to happen since he had paid $1,000.00 for the miniature pig. That would be eating too high on the hog for a Redneck. Only Congress could eat that high on the hog.



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